is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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