I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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