4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
