I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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