Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
