He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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