The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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