What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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