I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
