Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
