The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
