Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
