I miss vodka workout Fridays
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
