I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
