I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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