I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
