She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
