It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
whose parrot is this?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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