hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
ttyl tear gas
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
