Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
