I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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