It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
