we have officially lost it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
