he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
