Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
