dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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