how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize