Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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