direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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