Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
