my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I need water and some morals
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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