yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
