From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize