yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
