The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
