Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i need some magic done to my vagina
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
