I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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