i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
