Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
