I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
