even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
