I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
