I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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