dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
