new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
