so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
