she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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