I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
