that's an acceptable place to lick
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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