I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
