Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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