When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
