News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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