Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
