So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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