I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
