sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
