So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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