i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sponge bath it is.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
