Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
