Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
