I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
